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Women
Dec 10, 2009 5:43:43 GMT -5
Post by Drozgul on Dec 10, 2009 5:43:43 GMT -5
You know you're fun, and you know we love you. But wow! do we love picking on you!
On this thread I would like to discuss women, (the Gamer's Myth if you will) and all the things about them that make us laugh from day to day, or the ways we torment them.
I also challenge you to make an opposing thread about Men, and let us know how we get to you. I may make a "Battle of the Sexes" sub-board if this gets good.
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Women
Dec 10, 2009 5:45:04 GMT -5
Post by Drozgul on Dec 10, 2009 5:45:04 GMT -5
(My wife actually sent this to me via e-mail, and it sounded like what I would do to get out of shopping someday.)
WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2.July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3.July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4.July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5.August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
6.August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7.August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
8..August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
9.September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10.September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11.October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12.October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13.October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14.October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but certainly not least:
15..October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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Women
Dec 10, 2009 5:50:15 GMT -5
Post by Drozgul on Dec 10, 2009 5:50:15 GMT -5
Among the list above, I am also likely to have used the storewide PA system to announce a challange to anyone in the store who thinks they can beat me at the video games on display in the electronics section. And then take on all comers!
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Fenix
Journeyman
Who in the hell do you think I am?
Posts: 162
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Women
Dec 11, 2009 2:00:14 GMT -5
Post by Fenix on Dec 11, 2009 2:00:14 GMT -5
I figure if women have to drag us to the store and spend our money then we should be entitled to a little fun, right? I just act a fairy so women will ask my opinion on cloths since I am "safe". I can honestly say it makes the day a little better to help women choose sexy clothes ;D ;D ;D
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Lady Masquerade
Journeyman
Look into my eyes. Do you see who I see?
Posts: 174
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Women
Dec 11, 2009 18:43:06 GMT -5
Post by Lady Masquerade on Dec 11, 2009 18:43:06 GMT -5
In my own defense, I'd like to think that I might just be hiding in the clothes rack with you scaring people as they shop. But this is your thread to pick on us, so I'll leave you to it, and be on the "Men" thread.
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