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Post by thedoctor on Aug 29, 2010 20:11:13 GMT -5
anthony __
i think i'm getting an erection
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Post by thedoctor on Aug 29, 2010 20:11:53 GMT -5
samuel ___
i think anthony's getting an erection
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Post by thedoctor on Aug 29, 2010 20:12:29 GMT -5
anthony was internal monologue. samuel spoken to group
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Post by thedoctor on Aug 29, 2010 20:17:57 GMT -5
i'll post the first bit of my novel here to invite critique. __
Chapter 1
“I think I’ll name him Loriel.” “Loriel? Anthony, you’re an idiot.” “Why?” “Did you just walk into the bathroom and grab that off a shampoo bottle?” “No! I like the name of that forest in Lord of the Rings and changed a letter.” “Just as pathetic. Either way, I’m not walking around with a hair care product.” “It’s pronounced Lore-real, not Lore-e-all!” Jon was busily pouring over the papers in front of him. He had grown used to the bickering between Anthony and Samuel, he saw it as more of a white noise machine now. He did agree with Sam though, Anthony was horrible with names. A fact evidenced by his name in their WoW clan, Anthony.71681, a feat achieved by adding his birthday. He didn’t mind though, everyone in the group brought something to the gaming table and now it was his turn to bring those qualities out. He had spent months preparing. His NPCs were ready to advance his story, and his enemies were waiting along the road; this would be a campaign to remember. “Are not ye lovers of swine yet ready?” “Great, David is already in character.” “Nay, young Marcus, my name is <char. Name>” “Right…” “Alright, good, let me see your sheet dav… er… <char.name>.” Jon asked “I don’t know why you need to look. It’s the same as every other time,” chortled Sam “Yeah!” cried Marcus “Human fighter with strength maxed out.” “Might drool a little while charging with an ax over his head” “Look, even Anthony has figured the pattern out.” Laughed Sam “And he might name his next character Axe in honor of the deodorant too!” “We spend every Friday night in this basement listening to him beat on every goblin and kitten he encounters. I got the pattern.” Jon was half listening to the banter. Sure enough, it was a human fighter he held in his hand. David took the insults well, as did Anthony. It was part of the reason he looked forward to their weekly ritual; everyone seemed to mesh well despite their differences, not unlike most companions in role-play games. Their personalities always seemed to transfer into their characters, which made it easy for Jon to predict the course of their adventure, but worth the journey all the same. “knock knock.” Sam said as he leaned back in his chair, eyes closed. A moment later there was a knock at the door “food is here” he smirked. “how do you do that?” wondered Marcus. “every week you predict that” “I’m psychic; I keep telling you.” Sam said as dead-pan as possible “No, he isn’t.” Retorted Anthony. “come around to our side of the table.” “I had him going.” “I know, but I don’t want the kid thinking you’re special. He might stop bringing everyone cookies and give them all to you so that you don’t read his mind or something. His mom makes banging snicker doodles.” Marcus wandered around to the other side of the table, a territory he realized he had never tread since he started coming to the sessions after Jon invited him one night at work. He now understood why Sam could predict the arrival of the pizza so clearly. As Jon walked up the stairs to the front door, Marcus looked out the window just above where his seat at the table is and saw the front bumper of a green mustang. “same car every week.” Anthony said “that’s Dan's car,” interrupted Marcus “He goes to my school.” “Jock?” “no, more of a social outcast like me, but we never really talk.” “You should, maybe he could hook us up with some free bread sticks.” Jon came back down the stairs carrying a familiar sight; 3 pizza boxes and 2 sodas. “Extra cheese, pepperoni, and ham with pineapple” he counted off as he inspected the contents of each box and set them at the far end of the table. “Bring me mead!” shouted David “And what would you desire <char.name>? Pepsi-mead or Mountain Dew-mead?” “Bring forth the lager wrought forth from the grains of the mountain whilst the morning dew still lies fresh upon the earth.” “and which god or goddess can we thank for such a delightful beverage?” “Saint Cuthbert of the Cudgel, for it is lawfully-good” The room chuckled while the busied themselves with filling their plates and finishing up their character sheets. “did you forget to tip Dan?” asked Anthony “no, why?” Jon wondered how Anthony knew the pizza guys name “he hasn’t left yet” Sam nodded to the window “poor tip? I’d bet he’s urinating on your front door right now.” “I gave him the same as always. $25 for food and tip. Wonder if his car is broken down” “probably, old car like that.” Anthony chided “yours is just as old” goaded Sam “Yes, but it’s Japanese. Lasts longer” “that’s what she said” laughed Marcus “I’m going to see if he needs help” Jon mumbled “I’ll come along.” Anthony offered “I just passed gas and don’t want to be here for the fallout.” “What malodorous fiend is this that befouls my nose and breaks my soul?” choked David as the whole group fled up the stairs. “might as well use the bathroom everyone, we have a lot to do and I don’t want to stop.” Jon instructed. Jon opened his front door and gazed at an idling green mustang with its low-beams pointed at the garage door, driverless. “where’d he go?” asked Marcus “Dunno, the backyard is fenced so he didn’t go around there…DAN!” Jon said in a slightly raised voice. All the others followed him outside, resembling a line of inmates as the see sun for the first time in years, even though it was currently twilight outside. “Over there!” cried David, breaking character As all the others turned to follow David's outstretched finger they noticed a tall figure dressed in a gray sweat-suit and what appeared to be UG boots standing in the street staring directly at them. The figure nodded his head in a manner that Jon thought reminded him of an approving nod from an elementary school teacher, and then walked around behind a nearby Hummer, the owner of which Jon hated. Mostly because it’s automatic to hate the owner of a Hummer. That man, however, was much shorter. This man did not own that Hummer. “Hey!” Jon called and the group gave chase.
Chapter 2
The crew rounded the monstrosity of a vehicle and looked around. The man had seemed to disappear. "Where'd he go?" "Where'd the house go?" "Where'd the hummer go?" The questions rose in unison as the group took notice that they were standing beside a very large chariot, covered in blood or maybe red paint. "Hey, David, lick it and see what it is." There was something written on the side of it in an unfamiliar script, but they all understood it, somehow. Utility-chariots are bad for the horses "What's going on here? Is it April fools or Friday the 13th?" Marcus asked, kind of panicky "No, it's October the 21st, last Friday was the 13th." Samuel assured him. "You sure?" "Yes, you made a big deal about the whole party being killed off in the same battle due to it being Friday the 13th." "Oh yeah." Jon was silent. He had been the reason the party had perished. No one realized it, but Jon had seen an opportunity to kill everyone by using their tactics against them. Marcus had been the DM and had conspired with Jon at work the night before on what encounter to use. Marcus was eager to prove himself a tough DM; Jon was eager to kill everyone so he could start his campaign before Halloween, so he could throw in some low-level zombies for fun. Jon thought Marcus had over-acted on the blaming it on the 13th thing, but everyone bought it as him being superstitious, and even in their current confusion, Jon enjoyed the fact that this would further cement that in their minds to help cover his team-killing butt. "I think the sun's coming up" he muttered It was twilight when they walked out of the house. The lighting hadn't changed at all when the houses vanished, but now it seemed that the sun was waxing instead of waning. They looked to a ridge in the distance and saw the sun sticking its bright cheery face over the hills. "Smug bastard" David muttered. David didn't like the sun; he preferred the delayed and reflected light from the moon, because it was approximately 8 seconds older and therefore wiser. He usually rationalized this when he was drunk, otherwise he never considered it. "There's a house." said Marcus. "Looks more like a barn" observed Samuel. "Well let's check it out." The group started walking to the structure, looking even more confused and uncomfortable than they had at their school dances. "We're on the right track." Jon held up a green pizza warming bag he found on the ground. Approaching the building they realized it was farther away than they originally observed and much larger. It was also stone, which made it look cooler in their eyes. Even this great display of architecture, however, couldn't distract their vigilant eyes, trained by years of computer porn and watching girls at the mall, from spotting the woman bathing nude in the stream about 50 yards away. After watching for a few minutes, as inconspicuously as 5 pale guys on a bridge in the middle of an open field can, Samuel was the first to speak. "Anthony's getting excited." "Am not" "Why are you looking at Anthony's crotch instead of the naked chick?" "I wasn't! I was making a joke." "Whatever twinkle toes." Jon always appreciated Marcus' ability and willingness to fight, but right now his attention was elsewhere. "She's going into that building." "Then so are we" David said cheerfully. "There's a line" "Huh" Jon pointed up the hill "Crap" David said cheerlessly The men walked up the slight incline, panting at the exertion, and toward the back of the line. The ability they had honed at blending in and remaining inconspicuous over their years as beta males were futile. Had they not been carefully averting their gaze so as to not make direct eye-contact, thereby not coercing others or inviting ridicule, they may have noticed the stares they were drawing. They may have noticed the pointed fingers. They may have noticed the stone pillar that the first 2 of them walked into.
Chapter 3
the line moved fast enough, considering the parties anxiousness to get inside. They had no idea what waited inside, but Samuel had Marcus pretty convinced it was a donkey show. Marcus seemed excited, leading Jon to believe, or rather hope, that he had no idea what 'donkey show' meant. All they really knew was that the men that came out were glassy eyed and happy looking.
Once inside the ornate decor overwhelmed them. “Wow. This is even tackier than David's grandma's.” “How do you know what my grandma's house looks like?” “I helped you paint it last year.” Anthony answered, a little miffed that David had forgot. He had considered it a bonding experience. “oh yeah. Wonder what's going on. What do you think is behind that door?” “hard to tell.” Jon said as he opened the door to an inner chamber.
Through the thick mist they could just make out the figure of a woman. THE woman actually. “i don't have any singles.” “we shouldn't have to pay, we already got the show for free.” “i'm getting hungry.” “all that wasted pizza.” “why are we here anyways? I forget why we didn't stay in the nice basement and eat pizza.” “and drink god-nectar.” david chimed in.
“you are here because the ancient compelled you” came the sweet voice of the woman “The who?” Marcus asked “The Who are ancient” “Not very compelling though” “I was compelled alright, but i've named him Little Dav...” “QUIET!” Jon commanded, intent on the woman.
“The ancient has been here since long before our records, and will live far beyond our culture.” “you're saying he was around before the big bang?” Anthony inquired, “the what?” “big bang. Beginning of the universe, beginning of our records...” “Oh, for the love of Zeus, why out of the millions of people in existence would he choose you idiots?” “Idiots? You're the one that said there are only millions of people...” “ENOUGH. I'm not used to people talking, usually they just sit in awe and listen intently.” “Well...” “SHUT UP!” she snapped.
“”i'll drop the act if you will just shut up. Now listen. For some reason, The Ancient, that's what we call the man who is really old for the slower amongst you, decided to bring you here to help humanity. He hasn't told us what your purpose is or what he hopes to accomplish, just what we are to do to help. Following me so far?” they nodded. “good. Now pay attention. You are in what you would call Greece in your distant past, my present, to change the future.” “how...” “If you open your baklava hole again i'll have the priests quarter you as an offering to <some god>. So, i'll get to the details. As I said, no idea where you're going or what you're doing, but you should get weapons. Not for any purpose that I know of, you just look out of place without them. Actually, the weapons aren't your biggest problem. The priests will provide you some clothes, and we have other gifts to bestow.” “Woo-Hoo!” David cried in his best Homer Simpson. “For interrupting, you will receive my final gift.” He stared at her blankly.
“Jon, you shall be given the powers of charisma and persuasion. By adding some personality to your great mind, we hope to make you a most valuable leader. Samuel, I understand you enjoy being psychic, so I give to you the gift, or perhaps curse, of being able to read the minds of others. Ise it sparingly; it will leave you drained, and sometimes the thoughts of one are best left inside. Marcus, dear boy, for you I have chosen the gift of the magi.” “like frankincense? I'm not jesus.” “Who? Anyway, you'll slowly gain the ability to control the elements. Practice often and witness the power of your mind. Anthony, what you lack in brain shall be compensated with brawn.” “hey!” “i jest, I jest. I usually don't get people who can take a joke. I'll be giving you the ability to perform physical feats. Now, david, for you. I give you the last of my gifts. You will inherit the ability to talk to some animals.” “what?” “doctor doolittle” anthony choked “you're like our own aquaman” samuel said cheerily.
“however,” the lady continued, “ you will all find that you’ll be able to understand all languages you encounter, as you will now receive the gift of tounges.” “we get tounge?” “I’ll cut yours out first. I’m afraid our time is up, I need to refog the room and get in trance before the next customer.” “huh?” they all grunted. “you don’t think I’m so forthcoming with everyone do you? I had a lot to get through so I dropped the act. The best I could do was be vague about the gifts.” “and our mission…” “oh yeah. Go to Sparta to buy weapons. Try to stay alive please.” “ok. That’s it?” “for now, you’ll figure it out.” “ok then. Bye” “good bye” she said, back in her trance “that was weird” said marcus “my leg’s cramped, we were sitting funny and my pants were clumping up in my crotch.” Anthony lamented.
Chapter 4 Anthony
I think I’m getting an erection
Chapter 5 Samuel
“ I think Anthony is getting an erection!” “dude, again? You’re like the boy that cried wood!” marcus chided “crying wood would hurt. Splinters” Samuel retorted “whatever, twinkle toes”
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Post by thedoctor on Aug 29, 2010 20:18:16 GMT -5
remember that these chapters are being written rather sporadically and they may not flow well. let me know. also debating on the idea of writing each chapter from a certain characters perspective instead of as a 3rd party omniscient story. so you see part of the story at each phase and it's brought together through their thoughts. the last 2 chapters are done that way. if i do it i'll have to do it before i keep writing though. let me know what you think.
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Post by thedoctor on Aug 30, 2010 6:37:54 GMT -5
so here's my characters and what they have / personality. i need suggestions on character names / what they should play as etc... to make a well rounded group. i think this would be easiest left up to your community. i'll post the story as it stands now so you can see where i'm going with it and these details are actually minor and may never come up but i like to have back story to my characters in case i do need it.
jon - the leader. plays elf. has a lot of charisma. need a class samuel - intelligent, psychic marcus - magic user, possibly dwarf? anthony - gift of strength. is an idiot david - always plays as human fighter. loves to smash and fight.
also, i need a name for a gaming / toy store that jon and marcus work at
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Post by labael on Mar 28, 2011 14:02:18 GMT -5
Very saddened that a character I share a name with is an idiot.
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Post by thedoctor on Apr 2, 2011 7:59:14 GMT -5
Very saddened that a character I share a name with is an idiot. very unintentional i swear. for him i was just shooting for a common name and wasn't about to use mine.
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Post by labael on Apr 2, 2011 19:39:50 GMT -5
It's okay I share a name with Tony Danza too. . .so it can't be helped
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